40 questions to ask your dad about his life

Many dads aren't big talkers — not because there's nothing there, but because no one ever asked the right question and then waited. These forty do the asking for you. Some he'll answer in a sentence; some will open a door you didn't know was there.

Ask one at a time. And if he's the type who freezes at a direct question but relaxes with a pen, Longhand lets him answer one a day in his own handwriting, in his own time.

His boyhood

• What's the first home you remember?
• What did you get up to as a boy?
• Who was your best friend, and what did you do together?
• What were you afraid of?
• What did you and your father do together?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• What's the most trouble you ever got into?
• What's a sound from your childhood you can still hear?

Coming of age

• What were you like as a young man?
• What did you dream of doing?
• What was your first job, and what did it pay?
• What was the first car you loved?
• Who was your first love?
• What's the biggest risk you ever took?
• When did you first feel like a man?

Work & pride

• What work are you proudest of?
• Who taught you how to do your job?
• What was the hardest work you ever did?
• Did you ever have to start over?
• What did you learn about people from working?
• What did you want to be remembered for?
• If you could have done any job in the world, what would it be?

Love & fatherhood

• How did you meet Mum (or my other parent)?
• What was your wedding day like?
• What do you remember about the day I was born?
• What did you find hardest about being a father?
• What did you love most about it?
• What do you see of yourself in me?
• Is there something you always wanted to say to me but never did?
• What are you proud of me for?

What he's learned

• What's the hardest thing you've been through?
• What got you through it?
• What do you know now that you wish you'd known at twenty?
• What's a mistake that taught you the most?
• What does being a good man mean to you?
• What's the best advice you were ever given?
• What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
• If you could relive one day, which would it be?

More prompts: 101 questions for your parents, questions to ask your mom, and what to talk about when the call goes quiet.