40 questions to ask your mom about her life

You know your mom as your mom. But before she was that, she was a girl with a bedroom of her own, a young woman in love, someone with dreams that had nothing to do with you. Here are forty questions to meet that whole person — the ones worth asking now, while she's here to answer.

Ask one at a time, and listen more than you talk. If you'd like her answers kept in her own handwriting rather than lost in a chat, that's exactly what Longhand is for.

Her girlhood

• What's the first home you remember?
• What were you like as a little girl?
• Who were you closest to growing up?
• What did you and your mother do together?
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• What's a smell or song that takes you straight back?
• What did you get in trouble for?
• What's your happiest memory from childhood?

Becoming herself

• What were you like as a teenager?
• What did you dream your life would be?
• What was your first job?
• Who was your first love?
• What's the bravest thing you did when you were young?
• What did you believe then that you don't now?
• When did you first feel like your own person?

Love & our family

• How did you meet Dad (or my other parent)?
• What did you first notice about them?
• What was your wedding day like?
• What do you remember about the day I was born?
• What was I like as a baby?
• What did you find hardest about being a mother?
• What did you love most about it?
• What do you see of yourself in me?
• Is there something you always wanted to tell me but never did?

Her wisdom

• What are you most proud of?
• What's the hardest thing you've been through — and what got you through?
• What have you changed your mind about as you've got older?
• What does a good life look like to you?
• What's the best advice anyone ever gave you?
• What do you wish you'd worried about less?
• What are you grateful for?
• What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?

The everyday

• What's your idea of a perfect ordinary day?
• What food have you loved your whole life?
• What song do you know every word to?
• Who has made you laugh the hardest?
• What's a skill you have that people don't know about?
• What's a story about me you love to tell?
• What has surprised you most about getting older?
• If you could relive one ordinary day, which would it be?

Want more? Here are 101 questions for your parents, questions to ask your dad, and 50 for grandparents.