Life story interview questions: a simple framework

Sitting down to "interview" a parent or grandparent about their whole life can feel daunting for both of you. It needn't. A life story interview is really just good questions asked in a sensible order, with room to breathe. Here's a simple framework you can follow, thirty questions to use, and the few tips that make the difference between one-word answers and real stories.

The framework: follow the life, chapter by chapter

The easiest structure is chronological — walk through their life in order. It jogs memory naturally (one era leads to the next) and it's easy to pick up again next time. Think of it as six chapters:

1. Roots — where and who they came from
2. Childhood — the world they grew up in
3. Coming of age — youth, school, first freedoms
4. Building a life — love, work, family
5. Trials & turning points — the hard parts and the choices
6. Reflection — what it all added up to

30 life story interview questions

Roots

• Where does our family come from, as far back as you know?
• What were your parents like — in three words each?
• What did your parents do for a living?
• What's a family story that was told over and over?
• What did your family believe was most important?

Childhood

• What's the first home you remember?
• What did a typical day look like as a child?
• What did you do for fun with no money and no screens?
• What were you afraid of? What made you happy?
• What did the world worry about back then?

Coming of age

• What kind of teenager were you?
• What did you dream your life would be?
• What was your first job, and what did it teach you?
• Who was your first love?
• When did you first feel like an adult?

Building a life

• How did you meet your partner?
• What was starting a family like?
• What work are you proudest of?
• Where did you live, and which place felt most like home?
• What did an ordinary, happy day look like back then?

Trials & turning points

• What's the hardest thing you've been through?
• Who helped you, and what got you through?
• What's a decision that changed everything?
• When were you bravest?
• What did loss teach you?

Reflection

• What are you most proud of?
• What do you know now that you wish you'd known young?
• What does a good life look like to you?
• What do you want your grandchildren to remember about you?
• If you could relive one day, which would it be?

Five tips for real answers

• Ask one question at a time and stop talking. Silence is where memory works.
• Prefer the specific. "What was your first home like?" beats "tell me about your childhood."
• Follow the feeling. When they mention a person or place, ask what it was like, not just what happened.
• Keep sessions short. Twenty minutes done often beats two hours done once.
• Record it — and keep the original. A page in their own handwriting is worth more than any transcript.

Ready-made question lists to draw from: 101 questions for your parents, 50 for grandparents, and our guides on recording a life story and preserving family history.